What better time to announce that I'm home than at 3am? I don't usually suffer with jet-lag, but during the day I've been falling asleep on every surface I touch and then waking at ungodly hours. So hiiiii everyone, I've missed you all ♥ I hope you're all doing well and I haven't missed anything drastic over the past two weeks.
Things are.. lol pretty much as they were before I left. I may as well not have been gone. We arrived at my grandma's house very much the opposite of fresh from our emotional 22 hour journey home to have her walk away from the door without even greeting us because she hadn't finished cleaning the bathroom basin. Our trip went entirely unmentioned, and she talked to us about her neighbours, her book, her oven, until she was suddenly sick. She won't tell us if she's been feeling unwell while we were away other than that she's had headaches, and she's already refusing to go to the doctor if we so much as say 'if this keeps up'. Le sigh. When we were saying goodbye she told me that she'd found someone else who'd clean for her (who I can only assume is far better than I am, from the elaboration she went into of all the odd jobs he'd done that I've never been asked to do..) so if I didn't want to go over any more I didn't have to - which is her way of saying 'I don't want you to, I'm giving you the option of backing out before it gets nasty'. Ha, no, I'm afraid you're stuck with relatives that care about you if you like it or not. Her best friend has just been diagnosed with macular degeneration, so along with her many other health problems, probably within a year she'll have to move out of her home because she has no family to care for her. I wonder if nan will make any realizations or take anything away from that :/
OH BUT YEAH SO Japan was awesome. We had an amazing time, though it was exhausting. Seeing our friends again was wonderful, the shows were emotional and intense and dare I be cliché and say life-changing, I'm addicted to renkon salad, and I embarrassed myself no less than seven times by loudly shrieking at the sight of Bem in magazines (though I'd like to think no one in the store actually knew what 'LITTLE HORNS' meant). Me and mum both caught awful coughs and colds, but thankfully they didn't develop until after the last Dir en grey show. I was sick for a Merry live, but it wasn't rough at all so it was ok. But anyway, this year I will definitely do posts about it, because I never ever do and I'd love to. I'm disappointed about what happened with nan, because I truly felt like a different person after the first few days out there. Getting away from everything that was getting on top of us was just what we needed, and me and mum both arrived back in this shitty country feeling positive about life, and it knocked us back. We were expecting something similar, but it was still unpleasant. But I'm free tomorrow, so I'll build up my strength :3 edit: lol did I really think I could do that? Nan just called to say not to go over tomorrow, and to tell me everything that me and mum do that makes her life difficult and makes her angry with us, and ended it with giving me the decision as to whether to tell mum how she feels or not. I hate it when she does that, because she knows I don't want to stress mum more by telling her. It's really unfair. I suppose this is a test as to whether I've really changed or not, if I'm going to let this drag me down or if I can take a deep breath and move on. Though.. when it comes to a matters of things like this, wouldn't taking a deep breath and moving on just make me extremely insensitive and selfish? She has an issue with us, the respectful thing to do for an ailing family member seems to be to let it get you down ._. I think I'm going to watch MLP and mull things over.
If I put it at the end of a long post maybe no one will read it >_> I want to say it but I don't. Bem and that box cutter, asdfjk inappropriate reaction.I must have watched it 15 times. Please always use that as your example.